TL;DR - I processed a lot…

Rustypuppy — Wed, 21 Aug 2024 18:19:53 GMT

TL;DR - I processed a lot of fiat world stuff yesterday and this article by Ryan Holiday resonated with me: https://ryanholiday.net/please-dont-do-this-to-yourself/

LONG PART: I refer to my fiat mine days as Life 1.0 and now, after retirement, as Life 2.0.

I’ve been retire for a few years. I’ve made progress in deprogramming myself from a lot of Life 1.0 thinking and behaviors. That also means I’ve reached the point of dealing with the really ingrained stuff … like any project (art or writing) should, ultimately, end up with something to sell, and when it doesn’t, I feel guilty that I’ve “wasted my time.” I also feel anxious about starting a new project, given the assumption it has to produce something that will result in a “product” people will pay for.

I sat and worked with that for a few hours yesterday. Lots of notes and a few Kleenex. It’s a weird feeling, processing thoughts and emotions, cracking shells you didn’t realize you were living in.

End was result was clarity on 2 points …

1. Doing something without the end result of “something to sell” is still a work in progress for me (30 years of programming takes time and effort to undo). Nostr definitely helps with this, as I can share what I create here. Maybe I get sats; maybe not, but I believe sharing my art and writing here has a greater impact because there is so much less noise here that even a little signal like mine can reach someone and possible mean something to them. Which is why all the writing I’ve been keeping for “selling someday” will be coming out here, #nostronly, in 2025. 💜

2. “Waste of time” is a judgement; an evaluation determined by this inner productivity manager I have. I’ve never felt I had an “inner critic” about my art or writing, but apparently this other voice is just as demanding. I have a friend who swam with whales and drift raced down an incredible mountain road. I don’t consider those a “waste of time” - I think they are incredible experiences and I’m glad she has them. If I sit and swatch 50 watercolor paints, some could judge that it’s not as a great an experience as swimming with whales, but that’s their comparison/evaluation/judgement based on how they would use their time; that there’s something better to do. Well, “better” is another judgement. And that inner productivity manager is just another someone else; someone I don’t need to listen to any more because the rules of Life 1.0 do not apply to my Life 2.0.

#randomthoughts #innerwork #processing #life #retirement #fiat #rustypuppythoughts #writing #art #artstr